Road Trip Home: One

Wednesday Morning; 7:40am

Angie's POV

My bedroom door creaks open, a thin shaft of eerie red light appears on my floor. Fear fills me when I see his boots as the door opens further; from my place under the bed I have the perfect view of his boots steel toe, the bottle he holds in one hand, and his muscular torso. I can't see his face, and I am thankful, because I can imagine it all too well. An evil smile parting thin lips, eyes bloodshot from alcohol, and unkept hair falling in his face. "Angeline" I hear his grumble, "there's no use hiding now, I've finally found you." He takes a step closer and stoops low, like he knows where I am. I see his hand grab the sheet, and as he lifts it I scream.

I sit up screaming, covered in sweat. It takes me a whole minute to realize where I am; safe, in the bedroom of the house I've called home since I was 13. Slowly, my breath returns to normal and my heart slows to it's regular rate. I shake my head as I throw the blankets off my legs and stand up. My pajamas are stuck to my body, damp from sweat. All I really want to do is shower, but one look at the clock tells me that I don't have the time. With less than an hour before I'm supposed to leave with my family on a three hour road trip to some mystery destination, I grab my clothes off my desk and walk down the hall to the bathroom. I reach to open the door, but before I can it's opened from the other side. Dressed in blue jeans and a purple shirt that holds a very faded wild cat, she smiles at me. "I was just about to wake you up, are you alright?" She looks me up and down, clearly noticing that I am nearly drenched. "You're too young to wake up like that."

I roll my eyes at her half joking statement, "Moooom." I groan.

She laughs and gives me a hug, "You alright?"

I shake my head without looking up. I'm shaken; I always am after that dream.

She doesn't ask questions, she knows that I won't answer. Instead she just holds me for a moment, allowing me to draw strength from her. "You'll be down for breakfast soon?"

I nod, still not wanting to move. I only do because I know that we will both curl up on the van and go to sleep on the drive. "Yeah, I just want to wash up and get dressed. Will you do my hair in the braid you just learned?"

She steps back and tucks a stray strand behind my ear, "If we have time."

I grin, "I'll make time."

She smiles and starts to walk away, but grabs my hand instead. "Are you sure you're ok?"

I can see the heartbreak in her eyes, and i hate that I do this to her. I'm glad that I wont have to for much longer. "I'm fine. I promised you that I would tell you everything when I was ready. Well...I almost am. I was up late last night writing part of it out, that's why I ended up having the nightmare."

"It had been a while since your last." She smooth’s my hair away from my face again and I give a half smile.

"I know, but I think it will be my last. I think after I talk to you guys about it...I dunno. I think it'll help."

She smiles again, "I know it will."

She goes downstairs to make breakfast for Dad, and probably for Liza and Mark too. They've been living in the basement for a year while saving for a house, and I couldn't remember when they hadn't been at the breakfast table this summer.

I've changed my mind, and decide that a hot shower is just what I need to wash away both the sweat and the still lingering memories. I twist my long hair up into a bun and turn on the water; steam is already beginning to fill the room when I step into the hot stream of water. The sting is worse on my arm and legs where scar tissue still visible. The mere sight of them makes me want to do it again, to feel the burn again, but I refuse to let nine months go down the drain-like the previous six before them, and the four before them, and the seven before that. So many times I'd tried, and so many times I'd failed to stay away from the flame, I refuse to throw it away now. . . . But looking at them makes me long for that feeling, I need something to burn into my skin. I reach for the knob, wishing the water to be hotter, but at the last second I jerk it all the way to the left, making the water ice cold. I stand there for several minutes, letting the icy liquid help pull me out of the self-destructive thoughts.

Less than five minutes later I am dried and dressed, shorts covering the scars on my legs and a long, black lace glove covering the scars on my left arm. My hair is wrapped in a towel, and though I want to wear my contacts, I don't want to have to deal with them all week and I get my glasses out of their case. Once I have them on everything is much clearer. I tease my hair and let it fall in loose curls around my shoulders, if mom's going to fix it in a minute I feel no need to do much with it.

In the kitchen, I smell pancakes and bacon; dad is sitting at the table wit a map, Mark standing beside him as they try to map out the best rout. "Morning guys." I smile as I walk over to kiss my dad on the cheek.

"Morning honey." He says without even looking up.

I shake my head and steal the bacon from his plate. "Where are mom and sis?"

"I think they're in the living room, Charlotte was looking for a brush that wasn't packed."

I laugh, "Oh, I have one in my backpack. She said she would braid my hair for the trip."

I set my pack in my chair, grab a biscuit and another piece of bacon off my plate, and walk around the corner into the living room. "I still don't know. All he will tell me is that his friend from College wants our team to come perform." Liza says as I walk in.

"Ahh, discussing the subject of the mystery destination, are we?" I laugh as I sit on the floor in front of the couch. "I think this is the longest that the guys have kept a secret like this."

Mom just shakes her head and sighs as I hand her the brush. "Your father hasn't said a word about it. Won't tell me about the stage, won't tell me about the church, he won't tell me anything."

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By 9:30am we've got the rest of the crew on the van and are making our way to the highway. As mom sleeps against the window to my left, I can't help but take survey of the team that we have going with us this week. Behind me are a couple of my best friends: Clair, John, and Martin.

"I just hate that we have to miss Bible Study tonight." John complains as he digs for something in his laptop bag.

Clair shrugs as she puts an ear bud in, "It's not that big a deal, Heather said she'd take notes for Angie and I, you can read them too."

"Sounds good to me." Martin grins as he snatches Clair's other ear bud so he can listen with her. I smile and shake my head. 

In the next row, mom and I sit with blankets and pillows. We are completely prepared to sleep away the 3 hour drive.

In front of us, my sister Liza and her friend Krystal sit sideways, already engrossed in a card game.

In the front row, Andrew sits in the middle with a map. Mark sits in the passenger seat with the GPS, and dad is arguing with both of them as he drives. I just shake my head; this is bound to be an interesting trip.

Once we're on the highway, I carefully pull my iPad out of my backpack. With mom nearly asleep on my shoulder, I don't want to wake her. She doesn't need to see this yet.

I type in the password and find the app where I've been writing. After entering the secondary passcode, I'm able to see what I spent so long working on last night. The only written account of what happened to me as a child. I start to read it, but I find myself unable get past the first few lines. With a sigh I turn it off and put it away. As I'm closing the pack that also holds my laptop, I see a small notebook. I half smile as I pull it out and flip through the old, torn pages. This journal is the only object I've kept all through my life. I can still remember the pain when I look at entries in the beginning, but I can also feel the joy radiating from the pages near the end.

It falls open to one from three years ago, and tears spring to my eyes as I remember the joyous day.

"Today was my 14th birthday, and it was the best day of my life!"

*flashback*

I walk through the door after a particularly uneventful day at school. Not many people pay much attention to me, so nobody cared that today I am 14 years old. The house is dark, and sadness envelops me as I realize that no one is home. I try to shrug it off, after all . . . I'm used to it. Though I'd started to think the Tucker's were different.

Tears are kept at bay as I drop my backpack on the kitchen table and grab a cookie from the plate that's always waiting for Liza and me. Beside it sits an envelope with my name on it, and I smile for the first time that day. I open it to see a birthday card with glittery butterflies on the front, fluttering around the blue and green "Happy Birthday" spelt out with the stems of flowers growing out of the letters.

Inside there is a hand written note from Charlotte. "Happy Birthday Baby Girl! There is a surprise waiting for you on the back porch. Love you!"

I look to the patio door and a flicker of excitement ignites. A birthday gift? Big enough they have to hide it outside?

I slowly walk to and open the door, and what I see completely blows me away.

It's a bike. A blue and green bike with a yellow bow stuck to the helmet that rested on the seat. I stare at it, unable to imagine that it's mine. I've never had a bike, and I'm not sure I know how to ride one.

"Surprise!" Someone yells, and I jump backwards. I expect to hit the door, but instead I hit a body.

I spin around so fast it's dizzying, and look up into Charlotte's smiling face. "Happy Birthday!" Liza yells from behind her.

I step backwards and nearly collapse into one of the plastic patio chairs. I feel so overwhelmed that I can't stop the tears from coming. I cover my face with my hands and instantly both Charlotte and Liza are there. Liza beside me and Charlotte in front of me, her hands on my knees. "I'm so sorry Angie, we didn't mean to scare you." she says.

Liza put her arm around my shoulders. "Yeah Angie, we're sorry."

I shake my head and do my best to dry my eyes, but when I look up everyone is still slightly blurry. "No, no, I'm sorry. You didn't scare me, I-I was just surprised." I tell them. "I-no one has remembered my birthday since my mom died."

"Well let's get that fixed." William says as he carried out a cake with 14 lit candles. "How about you come blow these out and make you're birthday official." He winks at me as he sets it down on the table behind me.

I stand up and look around at all three of them. Charlotte takes my hand and smiles as I blow out all the candles.

"That a girl." William smiles at me.

"We have one more surprise for you."

"You guys have already done so much. What more could I possibly ask for?"

"Just open this." Charlotte says as she hands me a thin package.

I tear away the paper and my breath catches in my throat. I can tell it's just something printed off the internet, but what it says completely blows me away.

"Angeline Fay Leland (now Angie Rose Tucker) has been formally adopted by William and Charlotte Tucker on this, the 5th of September, 2012."

I can't breathe, and collapse into the chair that Charlotte has placed behind me. I look up at them, completely flabbergasted. "Are you serious?" I ask, my voice shaky.

"Yes, Angie." William says. "You're going to stay with us, and we're going to protect you from everything and everyone that ever hurt you."

*end of flashback*

I open my eyes, so surprised that I've had a flashback that it takes me a moment to realize that I'm disoriented. I wasn't laying down a minute ago, was I?

Mom is stroking my hair, and she's surprisingly calm as I sit up and shake my now pounding head. "Did you sleep ok?" She asks.

Sleep? Wasn't she the one asleep a minute ago? "What? I wasn't sleeping. I was...I was reading a minute ago."

The moment it's out of my mouth I regret it. The look of panic on her face is one I've seen many times. "Did you have a flashback?" She whispers.

I nod. "Yeah, but it wasn't a bad one. I was remembering . . . I was reading about my 14th birthday, and I guess that's what triggered it."

She puts her hand on my knee. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I nod and smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. That was weird though. How long was I out?"

"Well we are almost to the church." She says, motioning to the window.

From the window behind her I only saw a lake, but when I turn to look out the other my heart nearly stops. Time slows as we pass the old, weather beaten sign with pealing paint underneath a hasty applied topcoat.

"Oh no." I whisper, too terrified to even move. "This can't be happening."